HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Kevin's Blog

My Christmas present to everyone this year is confirmation of the fact that I have decided not to represent the client who came in to me today looking for representation in his case against Santa Claus. 

1. He said he wanted to sue Santa for intentional infliction of emotional distress because apparently Santa consistently gave him presents he had not asked for or cheap versions of the presents he did ask for.

2. He wanted me to make a complaint to the Department of Jobs, Enterprise & Innovation in relation to Santa’s continued violation of child labour laws. He had very strong evidence that some of the elves regularly work ridiculous hours in Santa’s workshop and are often as young as 4 and 5 years of age. 

3. He believed that there was very clear evidence that animals, in particular reindeer, had been abused given the amount of weight they have to carry every Christmas Eve night and the length of distance they have to travel.

4. He wanted me to take action to prevent Santa from the continued theft of carrots, mince pies and such like from people’s homes. I explained about the chances of success in obtaining an injunction. He felt that the costs involved would be prohibitive but he said he wanted to think about it. 

5. Non-payment of tax. Although he did not have anything in writing from the Revenue Commissioners, he was adamant that Santa Claus had a very substantial income, none of which was declared and felt that his present giving activities every year had to be at least partly linked with the proceeds of crime. He agreed that he would make direct contact with the Revenue Commissioners on this point.

My initial feeling was that this man was a crank. However, having reviewed the position as set out above, I think I had better look into this in a little more detail.

Happy Christmas everyone!

Kevin Brophy